D is for Defensiveness

D is for Defensiveness

They say that sometimes the best offense is a good defense. Some people adhere to this rhetoric in their relationships by enlisting the help of the third Horseman of the Apocalypse- Defensiveness.  Defensiveness is simply defined as the act of protecting oneself from...

Four Horsemen: Contempt

Contempt is the most dangerous and damaging of the Four Horsemen. According to Dr John Gottman, it’s presence in a relationship is the highest predictor of divorce. If one or both partners are contemptuous toward the other, it really means trouble. So what...

How Criticism Can Tank a Relationship

Last week, I talked about what Dr John Gottman refers to as The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse or the signs that a relationship may be headed for disaster. Criticism is the first of those four horseman and shows up the most frequently, even in the most stable of...

An Introduction to The Four Horsemen

Dr John Gottman- the country’s foremost relationship expert- has studied couples for more than forty years. He has also been able to predict which marriages will succeed and which will ultimately end in divorce with more than 90% accuracy! How does he do it?...

How To Stay Connected After Baby

There is little that could impact your relationship with your partner more than having a baby. If you thought that having a child would solidify and strengthen your relationship, I have some bad news for you. Research from the Gottman Institute in Seattle tells us...

5 Ways to Survive a Panic Attack

“I can’t do this.” “I’m having a heart attack. I’m going to die.” “I can’t breathe.” “I’m freaking out.” “Why is this happening to me?” “Oh my God. Everyone is...

5 Ways to Support an Anxious Partner

As I mentioned last week, about 1 in 5 people will struggle with severe anxiety at some point in their lives. Living with a partner who has anxiety can be challenging. Often times, it can lead one to feeling frustrated, angry, sad, or even disappointed that their...

5 Signs Your Partner is Anxious

About 1 in 5 people will struggle with anxiety at some point in their lives. It’s not uncommon that the birth of a child can trigger the onset of anxiety. It’s natural for new parents to worry about their baby, about their partner, and about their...