infidelity counseling in dallas
It is possible to build a stronger, better relationship after an affair.
Counseling after an affair
You never thought you’d be here.
Maybe it was a suspicious email or a text intended for someone else. Perhaps it was how your partner always seemed to hide their phone from you and stay up late at night then come to bed and go immediately to sleep.
Something led you to suspect that your partner was being unfaithful. You turned into something you never imagined… you became obsessed with finding out the truth. You scoured text messages and FB posts looking for the evidence.
Then you found it…
And your whole world came crashing down. As much time as you spent searching, you hoped you’d never find anything.
Maybe your partner seemed honest with you when you confronted them. They even said they were sorry and never meant for it to go that far. But you can’t find the ability to trust them again.
You wonder if it could happen again. You wonder if you’ve really learned the whole truth.
I know it feels like your relationship won’t survive this, but i’m here to tell you that it can
I know that it hurts. I know that it’s caused sleepless nights and an almost neverending sense of worry and dread.
You feel crushed and overwhelmed, not sure how to move on or even if you can. You’re not sure how you can ever trust your partner again, and it almost seems pointless to try.
But there’s a reason you’re here. There’s a glimmer of hope left because you still love your partner. You still love them despite the betrayal. You even have wondered if there’s something wrong with you for not being able to let go.
There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. There is hope for your marriage.
how can relationship counseling help?
Relationship counseling can help you discover and address the root cause of the betrayal.
When I work with couples who are struggling after an affair or other form of betrayal, I first help them to identify the negative patterns they’ve been getting stuck in. I help them discover why they feel so detached and disconnected from one another.
The way you communicate is like a dance. I can predict that when one partner moves a certain way how the other will then respond.
What you’ll learn through relationship counseling
Over time, you’ll discover ways to talk about the hurt feelings- the anger, the sadness, and the fear.
Recovering from an affair isn’t easy. After all, trust is a cornerstone of any intimate relationship. How can you trust again when the one you love the most has hurt you so deeply?
It may not seem like it now, but it’s possible.
Often times, couples say they wish they could just go back in time or hit a big “do over” button. The truth is that there is no going “back to the way things were” because the way things were led you here.
No. In order to move forward together, you have to build something new- something stronger than what you had before.
I have seen couples work through infidelity and come out stronger than they’ve ever been before. It is possible.
I’m ready when you are! Your renewed marriage is right around the corner.
What If My Partner Won't Go To Counseling?
It's not uncommon for one partner to be more reluctant or even simply refuse to attend counseling. If this is the case, I typically advise partners to approach the topic in a positive way.
Partners may get the signal that they are defective or that there is something wrong with them when you say, "Honey, I think we need to see a marriage therapist."
Instead, tell your partner how important your relationship with them is and how you would like to explore ways to make it even better. If your partner is still reluctant, they are more than welcome to schedule a consultation with me to discuss it further.
It's free, and we can explore some of the common barriers and misconceptions people have about marriage counseling.
Shouldn't We Be Able to Figure This Out On Our Own?
If you're here, the answer to that is likely 'no'. It's also likely that you have tried to fix your marriage on your own. And if you got a manual for love when you got married, I'd love to get a copy.
The advice you often get is learning about how to communicate better or compromise. It's about learning to be nicer to each other or how to 'fight better'... If that's all marriage is about, then more people would probably elect to never get married. After all, I could compromise with and be nice to my college roommates...
As Sue Johnson says, "Love is not a psychotic mix of sex and sentiment..." It's so much more than that. Yet, it's simple really. Once you know that love is all about bonding on an emotional level with another human being, you can understand it. Love is a survival instinct that tells us to keep those we love and trust close by.
By knowing what love is, we can mold and shape it. It gives us a map to intimate relationships that we've never had before.
But We've Tried Couples Counseling Before...
Oh man, if I had a dollar...
70-80% of therapists say that they work with couples. Very few of them have specialized training to do so. They mean well, and some of them are helpful to an extent.
But if you really want to level up your relationship, you need an expert. You need someone with a map and a compass.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy provides me with said map. I know the destination, and more importantly, I know how to help you get there.
I've Heard Couples Counseling is Expensive...
Depends on what you consider expensive. I think Starbucks coffee is expensive (and I don't even drink coffee).
Yes, couples therapy is an investment in yourself and in your relationship. If we are talking business terms, it has an incredible ROI.
Struggling with your most intimate relationship is toxic to your health. If you and your partner are unsatisfied with your marriage, you're more likely to be sick and feel the effects of stress more intensely.
I could go on about the benefits of therapy, but I'll highlight just one- you're less likely to get divorced.
10 sessions of therapy will cost you about $2500. A divorce will cost you about $15,000; not to mention the emotional turmoil for everyone involved. How's that for preventive care?
This Sounds Great, But We Just Don't Have the Time...
If you allow your schedule to interfere with your ability to improve your relationship, I have bad news for you.
Not to mention that I currently offer evening and even Saturday appointments. You can schedule your appointments online 24 hours a day without having to worry about playing phone tag.
Stop making excuses and schedule your consultation today by using the link below.