What is Couples Counseling Like?
Let’s Start at the Beginning…
No, not that beginning. This isn’t that kind of therapy. Though we may talk about your previous relationships and even your parents. *shudder*
No. Every couple begins their journey at Mindful Life Counseling the same- with a thorough assessment. We can’t figure out where we’re going if we don’t know where we are now. That’s why the first appointment is all about us becoming familiar with one another.
I’ll spend about an hour with you and an hour with your partner. This can be done together for a total of two hours or separately for an hour each. We’ll talk about your struggles, both in your relationship and on an individual level. Together, we’ll set goals for therapy and determine how to measure your progress.
Then, the real work begins.
Therapy would be really expensive if it just meant sitting down and venting for 90 minutes while I nodded my head and silently judged you and your partner. (No. I don’t really do that.)
Once we have established where we are and where we are going, the hard work begins. The reason I love working with couples is that it’s as close to real life as we as therapists can get without me camping out in your guest room. We don’t just talk about the conflict in your relationship; you experience it, and I witness it first-hand.
I don’t sit and listen to you talk about how you continuously try to evoke a response from your partner while he retreats or gives you the silent treatment. I help you to recognize and adjust these patterns by getting to see them in action and being able to intervene in real time. It’s not hypothetical; it’s proven.
It might get a little uncomfortable.
As we take a deep dive into the current state of your relationship and make repairs and move forward, there may be times when the going gets tough. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows in my therapy room.
Don’t worry though. Before we plunge into the depths, we first make certain that it’s safe for you to do so. If you don’t feel safe with your partner, you won’t go to the depths of your emotions or be willing to share this with them. Until you feel safe in your relationship, you won’t even want to- which is probably why you’re sitting in my office in the first place.
We start by making sure that your partner is accessible, reliable, and emotionally engaged. It’s not about communicating better, using “I” statements, or even conflict resolution. Who wants to compromise with someone that they don’t trust or even like? I know I don’t.
So first, we establish a safe foundation.
Your relationship should be a safe haven for you- an harbor in the storm of life. Until you know that your partner has your back, we can’t possibly move forward with deepening the bond between you.
I will help you and your partner understand one another- perhaps for the first time. We will rebuild the trust and commitment that is missing from your relationship. Once you truly trust one another again, we can begin to heal.
It’s not guess work; it’s science.
It wasn’t long ago that therapists who worked with couples just applied what previously worked with individuals to the relationship. We now know that this isn’t all that effective. I talk a little more about this here.
Now, we know what works. We know what helps couples go from desperately disconnected to having a lifetime of love.
I could go on…
Or you could experience it for yourself. If you’re ready to move forward with your relationship and begin to heal the hurt, schedule your free 30-minute consultation by clicking the link below.