An emotional affair occurs when one partner has an inappropriate emotional closeness with another that should be reserved for one’s partner and this secondary relationship depletes the primary relationship.

The trouble often arises when one partner begins to hide information from the other- likely realizing that they may have crossed boundaries.

While there are no definitive signs of an emotional affair per se, the three components of infidelity are almost always present:

1. Secrecy
2. Emotional Involvement (obviously)
3. Sexual Alchemy

Information is often hidden from one’s partner- the exchange of late-night texts, lunch meetings, and long conversations.

While sex is not typically present, there is often a sense of desire. The desire to be desired, the desire to feel cared for, the desire to have the undivided attention of another…

If you notice that your partner is more frequently hiding his phone, that she’s suddenly dressing more provocatively when heading off to work, or that they seem more emotionally distant, they could be having an emotional affair.

One could argue that a one-night stand was simply a drunken mistake and eventually move past it while an emotional affair requires more time and energy to cultivate- time and energy that can never be gotten back.

One factor that contributes to the weight of the emotional affair is often the amount of lies and deception that go into hiding the relationship. Each lie feels like a new betrayal when the truth is discovered.

Many love affairs and sexual affairs do begin as emotional affairs, so it makes sense that partners are wary about this potential.

Some relationships remain strictly platonic but nevertheless can have damaging effects on one’s marriage.

Affair recovery can help you to overcome the hurt and heartache of infidelity and reestablish the love and connection in your relationship with your partner.

Not only is healing possible, but you can have an even better relationship with your partner after affair recovery.

Most marriage therapists try to have the couple acknowledge the hurt of the infidelity then move on. They’re afraid to talk about the affair directly or explore its meaning.

Instead, they work on things like communication skills and teaching the couple to “fight better.”

They completely miss the potential for relationship evolution that is brought about by diving deep into the infidelity itself.

While I’m not advocating for people to have affairs in an effort to improve their relationships, once the affair has already happened there is much to be learned from it.

An affair can be the catalyst that brings a couple closer than they have ever been before.