Improve Your Relationship, Improve Your Life!
Have you and your partner become really good roommates?
Are you tired of having the same fight over and over again?
Do you sometimes question whether you can trust your partner?
Do you feel like you can never do anything right in the eyes of your partner?
Are you or your partner considering ending the relationship?
I help couples who are struggling with issues such as communication difficulties, infidelity, intimacy issues, the transition to parenthood, and other issues that have led them to feeling stuck or dissatisfied with their relationship.
Areas of Specialization
If you suspect or have recently discovered your partner’s infidelity, I can help you rebuild the trust and heal the hurt.
You’re not sure when exactly it happened, but the pilot light in your relationship has gone out. Reignite the spark.
Being parents is a lot harder than you imagined, and your partner doesn’t seem to be much help. Learn to put your relationship first.
How do you know when it’s time to seek counseling?
You and your partner would likely benefit from counseling if:
- You feel like the two of you have the same argument and can predict how it will end before it even begins
- You suspect or have discovered that your partner has had an affair
- One or both of you are considering separation or divorce and are uncertain how to move forward
- You care deeply for your partner, but you’re not sure if you are still in love with them
- Either of you feels that you’re not having sex often enough or it is unsatisfying
- You can no longer turn to your partner and honestly share what’s bothering you
- You believe that nothing you do is ever good enough and have stopped trying to please your partner
- You can never find the right words, and everything you say leads your partner to being hurt, angry, or defensive
- The two of you would rather spend time apart than together
- You and your partner have stopped having fun together
- The demands of parenthood have put your relationship on the backburner and tension seems to be rising
Don’t Give Up On Your Marriage
What If My Partner Won't Go To Counseling?
It's not uncommon for one partner to be more reluctant or even simply refuse to attend counseling. If this is the case, I typically advise partners to approach the topic in a positive way.
Partners may get the signal that they are defective or that there is something wrong with them when you say, "Honey, I think we need to see a marriage therapist."
Instead, tell your partner how important your relationship with them is and how you would like to explore ways to make it even better. If your partner is still reluctant, they are more than welcome to schedule a consultation with me to discuss it further.
It's free, and we can explore some of the common barriers and misconceptions people have about marriage counseling.
Shouldn't We Be Able to Figure This Out On Our Own?
If you're here, the answer to that is likely 'no'. It's also likely that you have tried to fix your marriage on your own. And if you got a manual for love when you got married, I'd love to get a copy.
The advice you often get is learning about how to communicate better or compromise. It's about learning to be nicer to each other or how to 'fight better'... If that's all marriage is about, then more people would probably elect to never get married. After all, I could compromise with and be nice to my college roommates...
As Sue Johnson says, "Love is not a psychotic mix of sex and sentiment..." It's so much more than that. Yet, it's simple really. Once you know that love is all about bonding on an emotional level with another human being, you can understand it. Love is a survival instinct that tells us to keep those we love and trust close by.
By knowing what love is, we can mold and shape it. It gives us a map to intimate relationships that we've never had before.
But We've Tried Couples Counseling Before...
Oh man, if I had a dollar...
70-80% of therapists say that they work with couples. Very few of them have specialized training to do so. They mean well, and some of them are helpful to an extent.
But if you really want to level up your relationship, you need an expert. You need someone with a map and a compass.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy provides me with said map. I know the destination, and more importantly, I know how to help you get there.
I've Heard Couples Counseling is Expensive...
Depends on what you consider expensive. I think Starbucks coffee is expensive (and I don't even drink coffee).
Yes, couples therapy is an investment in yourself and in your relationship. If we are talking business terms, it has an incredible ROI.
Struggling with your most intimate relationship is toxic to your health. If you and your partner are unsatisfied with your marriage, you're more likely to be sick and feel the effects of stress more intensely.
I could go on about the benefits of therapy, but I'll highlight just one- you're less likely to get divorced.
10 sessions of therapy will cost you about $2500. A divorce will cost you about $15,000; not to mention the emotional turmoil for everyone involved.
But hey, everyone has their priorities...
This Sounds Great, But We Just Don't Have the Time...
See the above comment about priorities. If you allow your schedule to interfere with your ability to improve your relationship, I have bad news for you.
Not to mention that I currently offer evening and even Saturday appointments.
Stop making excuses and schedule your consultation today by using the link below.