You recently discovered that your partner has had an affair. You’re filled with so many mixed emotions, and you’re not sure where to turn.

You’re not even sure if you want to hit your partner or just run away from them. You love them and hate them.

How could they do this to me?

Does our relationship mean nothing to them?

Was he even thinking of me when he was with her?

Has our entire relationship been one big lie?

It’s not easy finding out that your partner has been unfaithful. There are so many unanswered questions, and you’re not sure you can even trust what they tell you.

Part of you wants to know every detail; another part knows that it would hurt too much- like death by a thousand cuts.

Does it matter where they had sex? Do you really want to know if she came? Did she tell him that she loved him?

You have a million questions, but are you asking the right ones?

They make it sound so simple: “Kick the dog to the curb!”

“You don’t deserve to put up with this shit!”

They don’t understand why even part of you wants to stay.

“Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

The fact is, they aren’t helping. They mean well, and they care… but they are not helpful for you.

You haven’t yet decided if you’re willing to throw it all away- this life that you’ve built together. You certainly can’t just “move on,” but you don’t know what to do.

Can your marriage be saved?

Affairs are hard for everyone involved, including most therapists.

You need someone who knows affairs inside and out- someone who’s not afraid to ask the tough questions.

I won’t skirt around the issue, and I’ll help you and your partner uncover the meaning behind the affair.

Only then can you determine when and how to move on.

Affair recovery can help you to overcome the hurt and heartache of infidelity and reestablish the love and connection in your relationship with your partner.

Not only is healing possible, but you can have an even better relationship with your partner after affair recovery.

Most marriage therapists try to have the couple acknowledge the hurt of the infidelity then move on.

They work on things like communication skills and teaching the couple to “fight better.”

They completely miss the potential for relationship evolution that is brought about by diving deep into the infidelity itself.

While I’m not advocating for people to have affairs in an effort to improve their relationships, once the affair has already happened there is much to be learned from it.

An affair can be the catalyst that brings a couple closer together than they had ever been before.