D is for Defensiveness

They say that sometimes the best offense is a good defense. Some people adhere to this rhetoric in their relationships by enlisting the help of the third Horseman of the Apocalypse- Defensiveness.  Defensiveness is simply defined as the act of protecting oneself from...

Four Horsemen: Contempt

Contempt is the most dangerous and damaging of the Four Horsemen. According to Dr John Gottman, it’s presence in a relationship is the highest predictor of divorce. If one or both partners are contemptuous toward the other, it really means trouble. So what...

How Criticism Can Tank a Relationship

Last week, I talked about what Dr John Gottman refers to as The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse or the signs that a relationship may be headed for disaster. Criticism is the first of those four horseman and shows up the most frequently, even in the most stable of...