It has been almost 3 weeks since my last blog article. With each passing day, my anxiety grows. It’s true- I too struggle with anxiety. As I type this, I feel a churning in my stomach, a feeling of uneasiness and discomfort consumes me. I also struggle with perfectionism. I currently have more than 10 posts drafted, ones that I began but haven’t yet finished.
My problem is that I have so many ideas, so much material to write about that I think, “what if I don’t pick the right topic?” What if people don’t read it or don’t like it? What if people don’t like me? This spiral into anxiety and worry is all too familiar to me (and may be to you too).
So I decided that I just needed to write and that the best way to do so was to be mindful. With each sentence a breath. One at a time. There is no hurry; there is no deadline. With each passing breath, I feel the tension, the anxiety slowly settle. It’s still there. In truth, it is almost always there- my constant companion. And that’s okay.
You see, a little anxiety can actually be beneficial. After all, it developed from our need for survival. A certain amount of anxiety can heighten one’s senses, make them more alert, can improve concentration and memory… When we allow the anxiety to grow, unchecked into something debilitating that prevents us from doing the things that we need to or enjoy, that’s a problem.
Being mindful of my anxiety allows me to contain it; it does not eliminate it. Being mindful of my anxiety allows me to wrestle back the control that I have given it. Being mindful of my anxiety allows me to explore it without judgment.
So why do I teach mindfulness? Because it works for me. It works, and I want to share its transformative power with others. I believe in what I do, and I believe that I have the ability to help people. I believe that everyone can benefit from being even just a little more mindful. Everyone has anxiety from time to time. Often we are more comfortable calling it stress.
Mindfulness is about wholeness, being complete and present in one’s own experience. It’s simple but can be difficult. In truth, I don’t fully understand the depth of mindfulness. I consider myself to be an expert in it, yet the complexity and vastness of it are beyond me. I will continue to practice mindfulness and delve into its depths, but I may never truly understand it. And that, in and of itself is awe-inspiring to me.
The good news is that neither I nor you have to understand mindfulness fully in order to practice and benefit from it. If you are interested in mindfulness or have any questions, give me a call. I would love to discuss it further with you.
